Just call him Aflac

January 1, 2007


'Cause his lips are so swolen they look like a duck's bill. The child's face looks like it was force fed through a meat grinder.

I keep wandering past him... and have to force myself not to call out, "Aflac!"

Thing2, 13 years old, after face planting it at the ski resort.

Snowboarding rule #1: Land on the board, not your face.

Conversation with Thing1, who called home immediately after Thing2 snowboarded with his very own face:

"Mom, you better hurry and come get Thing2, I'm pretty sure his eyeball is hanging out of his head by a tiny tendon. There's blood and what I think may be brain bits sacttered all over the mountain."

Thank you ever so much, Thing1, for giving me an immediate panic attack. Your time will come, Thing1. I know where you sleep and have complete control over your cell phone/Xbox/computer usage, ya twirp.

Thankfully Thing2 will be just fine, once the face morph heals.

Happy New Year!

"AFLAC!"

Torturing My Teenagers... One of the Many Services I Offer

My period was late (hold me!) and I was seriously concerned about the possibility I may be pregnant.

Instead of putting myself through one more day of torture, I bought a pregnancy test. It felt kind of odd placing that test in my shopping cart. Instead of simply tossing it in, I took extra steps to tuck it under the enormous bag of dog food. What if someone I know saw the test in the cart? It would be just my luck to run into the neighborhood gossip.

I got home from the store and dashed to the bathroom, palms sweating and heart racing. "For the love of Pete, please let this test turn out negative!"

Thank the Universe the test did come back negative. Whew, dodged that bullet! My glee soon turned to thoughts about how this could be turned into a golden opportunity to torture my teenage sons.

There they were, snuggled down in the living room, watching a movie. Perfect set-up, it was time to strike. I bounced out of the bathroom, test stick in hand, and announced I had just taken a pregnancy test.

For a split second the world stopped spinning. My 13 year old's face revealed his feelings about the matter- the child looked as though someone had just stuffed a dog turd up his nose. The 15 year old jumped to his feet, staring at me like I had 5 heads. The color drained from his face.

The youngest said, "If you're pregnant, I'm moving out!"

The oldest said, "And I'll join him. Please tell me you're joking, I'm not prepared for something like this!"

I played along and put my best 'I'm going to have a baby' face on.

I just stood there dangling the test stick between my fingers while grinning from ear to ear.

Both teenage boys declared they would NOT be changing diapers. The 15 year old was kind enough to remind me that I'm far too OLD to have a baby; he learned in 'Human Growth and Development' class that my eggs are now considered [b] defective'[/b].

The oldest finally piped up and asked if I was going to show them the results. Both boys looked like someone just bonked them over the head with a ball peen hammer. I enjoyed every moment of their discomfort.

After what seemed like an eternity I finally caved in and handed the test strip to the 15 year old. In an attempt to see for himself, the 13 year old nearly knocked the 15 year old off his feet. Obviously the boys were seriously frightened at the prospect of mom being pregnant.

The 15 year old clutched his chest and asked me to think twice before ever doing something like that again. The youngest declared he is thoroughly convinced his mother finally went over the edge.

It was fun torturing the boys. Heaven knows they do their fair share of torturing ME. I felt victorious. The boys got a little taste of what it is like to have a bomb dropped in their lap. The drive me bonkers on a daily basis, it was high time for a little revenge.

This little experiment provided me with invaluable information.... a surefire way to get the boy children out of the house is simply a matter of getting pregnant.

AS IF I'd do such a thing! The children are getting closer and closer to becoming young adults... I'm finally seeing a touch of light at the end of the parenting tunnel.


Score:
Mom... 1
Teenagers.... 0

Ahhh... the sweet, sweet sense of revenge continues to linger. Mom power rules!

The Holidays ... Here We Go Again

The holiday season is upon us... again. Thanksgiving 2006 was great, everything went off without a hitch and the family had a relaxing, peaceful day together. It was nice to have my husband home for the holiday. Mom and I were able to go up north to bring Grandma to Anchorage for a few days. Grandma's getting up there in age now, this was her 81st Thanksgiving. It was interesting to listen to Gram speak about what the holidays were like in the late 1920's and beyond, how so much has changed.

Instead of forcing the children to dress for dinner, I opted to let them wear comfortable clothes. I think they were very grateful for the change of pace. Since it was only the six of us here, there was no need for formality.

After dinner the children, mom and my husband got comfortable in the living room and watched football, while Gram and I sat at the dining room table going over my latest crafty endeavor, beading. I've found a creative outlet that has unlimited possibilities. My glass bead collection continues to grow, and I have signed up for a class being held at Michael's Arts & Crafts. I had a container full of finished bracelets and let Gram choose her favorites. Despite her age, she still has an eye for style. She was quite impressed with my latest designs and immediately went for my favorite bracelet thus far. That tells me my work is getting better, as she has a discerning eye.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's on to Christmas season. For some reason I'm not feeling that "Christmas Spirit" thing. At one time this was my all time favorite holiday so I can't quite put my finger on what's making me feel this way. Perhaps it's all the work involved in getting the house decorated, and all the shopping, wrapping, mailing, etc. Despite all the good things he does, my husband has never, ever helped with Christmas. I do everything, and maybe I've just reached a burned out point.

That, and it sure would be nice to cut back on the gift giving and keep more money in the bank. One of these years, perhaps soon, I think the family should forget about gifts and take a month long vacation to a warm destination.

Too bad we did not plan that for this Christmas... because we are entering our 4th week of unseasonably cold weather. I do not remember the last day the temperature was above 15*. According to our thermometer, it is currently -11* F which is far too cold for this time of year. If I had to take a guess I'd say Mother Nature is making her stand against global warming. I'm entering my 17th winter in Alaska and this is by far the coldest I can remember. This area of Alaska usually sees these low temperatures in January, not November. We still get a decent amount of sunlight each day, but the days continue to grow shorter, which means the sun will soon be gone for all but 4 hours a day. If this cold trend continues, January is going to be awfully cold - with absolutely no heat from the sun to add any warmth. No sun, cold temperatures, and a low savings account from holiday shopping does not make for a happy time of year, but I will have my bead work to keep busy, and by then my husband will be working hard on his side business of tying fishing flies. We'll get through this winter, just as we've done for so many years.

Perhaps once I get all the autumn decor put away for the year and the Christmas tree goes up I will find that missing Christmas spirit. The tree always brightens the house and adds some sparkle to these long, dark days. Yes, that's what needs to happen, the tree needs to go up and the decorations need dusting off and put in place. Once that little chore is out of the way, the Christmas spirit will set in.

My first shopping mission will be to find one ornament for each of my sons and one for my husband. Since the children were born, every Christmas I get each boy a special ornament and try to make the ornament fit whatever their current interests are. This year I will look for a snowboarding ornament for the oldest, and a wrestling ornament for the youngest. And every year my husband gets a fishing themed ornament to add to his collection. When the boys marry and have families of their own, I will pass the ornaments I've collected over the years on to them so they have something to place on their Christmas trees. One of these years my husband's collection of fishing ornaments will have to go on a fishing ornament tree. It's little traditions like that that make Christmas special for me. As teenagers, right now the boys probably do not understand or appreciate what I've been doing all these years, but one day, when they have families of their own I hope they look back on the assortment of ornaments I've chosen for them and appreciate these special little treasures from their mom.

Closing for now... must wake up in just a few hours to take mom out shopping for a desk for her new computer and a TV/VCR/DVD combo set up she's been lusting after. We will spend all day Saturday getting mom set up and welcome her into the 21st century. Putting a computer in the hands of my mother should be rather interesting, especially since she doesn't have the first clue how to even do so much as send an e-mail. EEK! I'm imagining what it will be like trying to teach old mom how to use the computer and can feel the white hairs squeaking through my scalp. Oy-Vey!

Honk

That's it, summer is officially over. Done. Finished. Goodbye!

It's a little after 6:30 a.m. and I'm here at the desk sipping a great cup of coffee. Two weeks ago it would have been light outside but this morning the sun is barely creeping over the Chugach mountain range. The official temperature at Ted Stevens Int'l Airport is 46*, but as always it is a few degrees cooler at my house. I know this because while sitting at the desk reading the morning news I heard the sound that seals the deal, the sound that summer is over and winter is only a few weeks away.

I heard... HONK. Then another, followed by a lot of honks.

Got up and walked over to the deck and saw a gaggle of Canadian geese flying... north. Also glanced at the deck thermometer and saw the temperature, 42*... only 10 more degrees to go until we hit the freezing mark.

To a Cheechako (greenhorn/newbie Alaskan) this may appear strange, but as an older, seasoned Outpost of Doom dweller I know what this means ... it means the geese are gearing up for departure. They're taking test runs and getting all their yearling's wings prepared for the upcoming migration. The geese must practice, must learn their formation routine. The head HONK-O must get his troops in line.

It's a sad state of affairs when birds know better than humans. If humans were half as intelligent as geese every Alaskan would be preparing to join them for the great migration south/ south east. The birds know this is no place to be when winter sets in. That honk I heard this morning marks the beginning of my 17th winter in Alaska.

Goodbye summer... see you next May.

Louie VonPewy

Meet Louie VonPewy, the ferocious, foul, funky, farting feline.

Never, ever, ever give Louie fresh salmon. I'm sitting in front of the computer with my shirt pulled up over my nose. Good gawd a-mighty, this cat stinks. Of course he had to crawl up on my lap before he let one rip. I know, I know... TMI.

Louie loves salmon almost as much as catnip. Almost. In this photo Louie is feelin' fine (stoned out of his kitty mind). I was a good kitty mama and gave him a small pinch of the absolute best top of the line catnip * ever... in the history of the entire world* --- Matanuska Thunder Struck.

To receive a sample of their nip send a self addressed stamped envelope to:

Matanuska Thunderstruck Alaskan Catnip
3279 North Wyoming Drive
Wasilla, AK 99654

Or visit their site:
http://www.alaskancatnip.com/sample_req.html

Louie is our rescue kitty. When the cat was about 3 months old my oldest son found the little kitten emaciated, filthy, and roaming around our backyard. We called animal control and several shelters to report the kitten found. We cleaned the him up and took him in. The following day I brought that sweet little kitty to the SPCA for shots and a quick blood sample to check for disease. We tacked signs around the neighborhood and ran a 'found' ad in the daily newspaper. No one claimed the cat.

Louie has been with us for exactly seven years, and of course like every other male critter in this house is a mama's boy.

Coming soon... A little about Louie's rascally, roving, renegade, radical rowdiness.

Diss, Lexus & The Wease

So I got roped into dog sitting for a friend's two miniature silky Yorkies. Their names are Diss and Lexus. Say the names together... DissLexus - we call them the disability dogs. : )

This photo doesn't show the torture I had to endure while 3 small dogs fought for position. ALL three wanted to be as close to me as possible - it was the 3 dog shuffle. In the end, Lexus, the female Yorkie, won the coveted spot.

Lexus is one of the most precious little darling dogs I've ever known, but my goodness does that little girl have a mean streak. The male dogs tried to position themselves closest to me, but she was not having any of it.

Lexus is my kinda girl -- she knows what she wants and is not afraid to make her wants known. One little growl had both male dogs scrambling for lower ground. Lexus has the most precious baby-doll face, while Diss is more 'macho' looking, or at least as macho as a miniature silky Yorkie can look.

Meanwhile, Weasel was none too pleased with being shuffled down to rest on my legs. The look on his face is very telling, he was downright depressed. I just have to laugh at how Wease dons that pouty face when he does not get his way.

2,996: A Tribute to the Victims of 9/11

My Tribute Is For:



Manish K. Patel, age 29.
Place killed: World Trade Center. Resident of Edison, N.J. (USA).
Manish K. Patel will be honored by Pea. This was the 1834th blogger to sign up for the 2,996 Tribute project.

If you wish to participate in this project, please visit this site:

http://www.jamulian.com/db911/

A victim of the 9/11/01 attacks will be assigned to you.

How ironic that Mr. Patel was chosen to be the victim honored on my blog. Mr. Patel was from Edison, NJ, just a few short miles away from where I grew up, Woodbridge, NJ.

My Junk Drawer, My Shame

So my (ANAL --- oops, did I type that out?) mother called this morning to ask what I was going to do today.

Do? I don't know. Frankly, I'd prefer to do absolutely nothing. It has been raining for something like 532 days and nights. I could go out and begin building an ark, but that would require a trip to Home Depot, which to me is worse than Chinese water torture. If you've got a 'thing' for Plumbers Crack, Home Depot is the place for you. The place reeks of testosterone.

I suppose I could do what I normally do on rainy days... mope around. I've perfected the rainy day mope. Instead, I will probably do what I do every day, pick up stuff, move stuff, and do stuff.

Stuff. The word defines my life. I'm surrounded by stuff. There's always stuff here, stuff there. What's with all this stuff? Why do we need so much stuff?

Of course there's stuff that matters. Stuff like family photo albums, videos, heirlooms. That's the GOOD stuff. At the other end of the stuff spectrum is the 'what the hell is this stuff?'

From the "What The Hell IS This Stuff File: Junk Drawer Stuff.

A recent search for a pair of scissors sent me searching through the abyss that is our junk drawer. I carefully opened THE junk drawer... all the while fearing for my life. Would something live and hairy jump out and latch itself to my face?

The contents of the junk drawer sent me into junk drawer warrior mode. A freak-out was in order. Searching through the drawer was an archeological dig, and it occurred to me that the household junk drawer says a lot about the family. Our junk drawer looked like a bizarre post-modern art slop project.

WHY, I pondered, was there a 1/4 full bag of rock hard sour gummy bears jammed toward the very back of the junk drawer? Is someone saving these mummified sour gummies in case of, say, a gummy bear famine? Which one of the teenage mutants held that bag of gummy bears in his hand and thought, "This definitely needs to go in the junk drawer! If there is a 'run' on sour gummy bears, I will be King of the gummy world!"

Here is a short list of other 'treasures' found in the junk drawer.

Markers - without caps. I suppose one never knows when a dead marker will come in handy. Could make the perfect projectile to be used in combination with the one zillion paper clips and rubber bands. Don't tell me I don't know how teenage mutants think. If it can be made into some sort of launchable device, they will try

Misc. loose batteries. Are they dead? Are they alive? Will anyone ever test them to find out?

Rocks. Did one to the teenage mutants stand over the junk drawer, shake his head, and relieve himself of the rocks from his head? WHY are there rocks in this drawer? WHY?

Screws. Oh my gawd! Eureka! I've found the loose screws which were holding their rocks in place!

One skateboard wheel

The K button from our old keyboard. THE reason I had to buy a new keyboard. Damnit!

One crunched up fortune cookie, still in wrapper. Another item kept in case of famine?

One empty tube of Super Glue

Ah-ha! There's that thermos cap!

One skull and crossbones shoelace

This list could go on and on. The point here is... what the hell was the point? Oh yeah... the point is today will be yet another day of dealing with stuff. Frig it, I think I'll just go stuff my head under the covers and take a nice long rainy day nap.

The teenage mutants go back to school in 6 days, 17 hours, and 12 minutes.

Not that I'm counting down or anything... *Twitch, Twitch*

Rapid Carbonic Geyser

The teenagers heard about this latest science experiment and could not wait for an opportunity to give it a whirl. They gathered in front of a friend's house to give their experiment a go.

The secret to producing the geyser is to drop Mentos mints in a bottle of Diet Pepsi. Here you see the results of their experiment. Only 4 Mentos were used to produce this mini geyser. I'm hearing plots and plans to go for it again tomorrow... this time using an entire roll of mints.

What will they come up with next?

Are You Always So Stupid or Is Today a Special Occasion?

Here is an example of morons on parade. That orange thing strapped to one of the fisherman is a BABY. Apparently these men forgot to pay their brain bills.

That large brown object behind them... that's a grizzly bear.

That blueish- green ripply looking stuff is Bird Creek, an urban, yet popular fishing area here in the Siberian Outpost Of Doom.

Several weeks ago these photos were printed on the front page of our daily newspaper. I often wonder if after the infant's mom saw this photo the man holding the infant survived to fish another day. I'm certain the mom was tempted to drug him in his sleep, load him in a truck, and toss him to the bears. Here's the story to go along with the photos.

http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/wildlife/bears/story/8012708p-7905524c.html

Beautiful Flowers From A Friend

TC, if you're reading, here is a picture of the beautiful flowers you sent. There are daisies, light pink tea roses, and sprays of purple, pink and yellow flowers, as well as an adorable little bird nestled down inside.

They are a few days old now and holding up great. I've truly enjoyed them.

Thanks again! Muuwahhh.

Another Photo - Catch of the Day

The oldest with his 'monster' 15.4 pound silver salmon.

His photo can be seen in the Anchorage Daily News "Nice Catch" Gallery.

http://www.adn.com/photos/nicecatch/v-photo_gallery_0/index.html

www.adn.com

Go to Galleries and click on the Nice Catch link.

Catch Of The Day

Oh yeah, fresh silver salmon. Although the teenage mutants stayed up most of last night, they were able to drag their zombie bodies out of the house nice and early this morning. Their reward... lots of fish.

If this keeps up (the daily fishing trips) I will need to buy another freezer. Ours is packed to the top with the summer catch of misc. fish, and as of now there is no room in the freezer for the moose my husband hopes to take this season.

The beauty of this is the creek the teenagers are fishing is less than 1/4 mile from our home, a quick 4 minute bike ride from the front door to the fish. No need to drive hour after hour. No need battle traffic and worm their way between the zillion other fisherman lined up shoulder to shoulder at the major salmon streams.

These fish are slated to be canned or smoked, and 'put up' for winter. Tonight's dinner... Salmon ala ME.

Recipe:

Marinade
1/3 cup light brown sugar
3 Tbsp. fresh garlic, chopped fine
3 Tbsp. onion, chopped super fine
1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp. honey
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup water
pinch each of salt and pepper
Place ingredients in saucepan and simmer on low heat until slightly reduced.

Marinade salmon fillets for 30 minutes. Remove from marinade and place skin side down in baking dish. Reserve leftover marinade.

Preheat oven to 325*. Baste salmon with marinade. Bake for 5 minutes, baste again. Repeat until salmon is slightly firm to the touch and flakes away when poked with a fork. Try not to over-bake the salmon, you want it to stay soft and moist.
It's that simple. The honey, brown sugar, garlic, and onions caramalize and give this dish a slight brown crust.

Enjoy!

I'm off to fillet the fish and drag the vacuum seal gizmo out so I can seal these beauties. Just sent the teenagers over to visit our Tibetan Monk neighbors, they just love it when we stop by with a big bag of fish heads. Like Alaskan natives, the monks make fish head soup. They are more than welcome to any and all fish heads! *shudder* : )

The Salmon Slayer!

I took this photo of my son when he was 4 years old.

About a year ago I submitted it to a photo contest, never expecting to earn a prize. Surprise! Not only did I win an award, the photo was also published in this book:

https://www.picture.com/picturebuy/product_info.asp?ID=1592149

This photo was taken in 1995, in our front yard.

This boy had to use every ounce of strength to hold those samon up. The look on his face tells the story, he simply could not wait to be old enough to fish the big Alaskan rivers and streams with his dad. One year after this photo was taken I finally gave in and let the little guy get his first pair of waders.

Fishing remains one of his passions. If he could, I believe the child would sprout fins and gills so he could swim among the salmon.

Friday evening I took him silver salmon fishing at the creek down the road from our home, where he 'limited out' (3 salmon per person, per day) within 30 minutes. The creek is less than three blocks from our home.

Right this very minute 3 mutant teenage boys are crashed in oldest son's bedoom. They will awake bright eyed and bushy tailed early tomorrow morning, and (hopefully) return home with nine super fresh silver salmon.

Pale Blue Dot

That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

Carl Sagan
http://gtrc911.quaker.org/pale_blue_dot.html

edit: In loving memory. I miss you, Carl - You were my hero. Cancer took you from us before your time.

HeadOn - Apply Directly To The Forehead!

HeadOn - Apply Directly To The Forehead...

HeadOn - Apply Directly To The Forehead...

HeadOn - Apply Directly To The Forehead...

Arrrgghhh... die, stupid commercial, die.

Obnoxious doesn't even begin to describe this ad. Every time I see it I want to hurl my cute, chunky heeled sandal at the television screen, or scrub my brain with a bottle brush.

Aggressive? Who, me?

YES! Yes I am. I have zero tolerance for inane commercials.

The HeadOn commercials take me all the way back to the early 70's and those annoying Ronco commercials for things like the Pocket Fisherman and the ever groovy Mr. Microphone.

Believe it or not, you too can make the HeadOn commercial your cell phone ringtone.

Don't believe me? Go here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fN8skfzdB5E&mode=related&search=headon


While I'm at it, why not mention that creepy Geico gecko. Why would I want to purchase insurance from an annoying foreign lizard?

I despise that gecko almost as much as the Aflac duck. Almost. I happen to think the Aflac duck should be plucked, stuffed, and roasted. Or maybe do a movie with Tom Cruise.

How about a death match between the Geico gecko, Tom Cruise, and the Aflac duck? Now THAT might convince me to purchase their insurance.

Pickles!

Pickles, beautiful pickles. I love them all.

As a matter of fact, I've never met a pickle I did not love. Garlic pickles, dill spears, whole dills, sandwich stackers, bread and butter chips. Sweet pickles, hamburger dill pickle chips, kosher pickles. It doesn't stop there.

There's a QUEEN of all pickles, a 'Wickedly Delicious' pickle. That pickle is a WICKLE! http://www.wickles.com/

Wickles are irresistibly delicious, fabulously flavored delights. They are jam packed with flavor, a little heat and a little sweet.

My best friend and I have discovered the very best way to enjoy a jar of wickles.

Step #1... go to our favorite club for a few cocktails.

Step #2... run to the grocery store, purchase a jar of Wickles and one pound of baby swiss cheese, thinly sliced, please.

Step #3... Run to the car, open that jar of Wickles, open the bag of cheese, and commence to digging in.

Our secret is to wrap 2 or 3 wickles, burrito style, inside a slice of cheese. The only proper way to enjoy this snack is to pop the whole mess in your mouth. There is no delicate way to enjoy this delectable delight.

Here's the thing about my pickle 'problem'... *I* don't see a single thing wrong with loving pickles. I don't see anything wrong with being protective of my pickles. Some people love chocolate, others love wine. *I* love pickles.

Big whoopdie-doo. So what if I have gigantic gallon jars full of pickles? My husband does not understand why I must have pickles packed in the pantry. He does not understand why I am a pickle protector. There's a rule in this house, a rule I am not willing to amend. The official rule is do not phuk with my pickles. This does not mean I won't share my pickles! If someone in the house would like a pickle or two, please, by all means, have at it. I'm a giver like that.

Problem is, pickles aren't, like, THE most healthy food in the world, but I can't resist the crunch, the tangy flavor, that vinegary/dill taste. Yes, pickles are loaded with sodium. I rationalize this by reminding myself that pickles are MUCH better for me than, say, a plate of nachos.

4 whole pickles = 12 calories. SMALL plate of nachos = 446 calories. Total sodium content for pickles = 833mg. Total sodium for nachos = 816mg.

AH-HA! What could possibly be wrong with exchanging 17 miniscule milligrams of sodium for a whopping 434 CALORIES.

There was a time when I was a Snickers Bar-aholic. Chocolate was my friend. It was not unusual to find a case of Snickers stashed in the closet. That chocolatly goodness, the ooey-gooey layer of caramel, the peanuts and chewy nooget filling. Heaven in a wrapper. According to the wrapper nutrition information:

Serving Size - 1 bar
Calories per serving - 266
Calories from FAT - 98
Cholesterol - 8mg
Total Carbs - 37g
Sodium - 137mg

And I was a 2 per day minimum Snickers girl. Dude, that is an unhealthy snack.

I don't plan to give up my pickle passion any time soon. Not now, not ever. To my perturbed husband I say, Pffffttt.

AND... I am NOT alone! I've just found this site:

http://www.ilovepickles.org/

LOL... they even feature Perfect Packages of Pickle Paraphernalia!

http://www.ilovepickles.org/shop/index.html

Confessions of a Stay At Home Mom

Confession: I love being a stay at home mom.

L.O.V.E. it.

Sure, there are days when I look at my children and see soul sucking, sub human mutants, but what mom of teenagers does not feel that way every now and then? Unless they are raising little saints on earth, moms feel that way and there is nothing wrong with it. I get a little concerned when I encounter a mom who has only wonderful things to say about her precious darling.

Let's face it, parenting teens is a true test of fortitude.

Parenting teenagers is tough stuff. I'm attempting to do the best I possibly can, and try very hard to be consistent. THAT seems to be the KEY to effective parenting. Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes.

Here are a few helpful quotes I've gathered along the way:

Teenagers are people who act like babies if they are not treated like adults. -Mad Magazine-

The most important word in this quote is 'people'. I consciously remind myself although there are times teens do not behave like people, they are people. All people deserve a certain level of respect. I've been testing this theory of treating teenagers like adults and I am pleasantly surprised and happy to report it is working!

Raising teens is part joy and part guerilla warfare. -Ed Asner-

We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching. -Roy L. Smith-


Life as a SAHM:

No, my diet does not cosist of bon-bons, nor do I lounge in the lap of luxury, feet up, cabana boys feeling (whoops, talk about your Freudinan Slip... was going to edit that to 'feeding', but screw it, I'm leaving it as is.. hee hee) me grapes and frozen cocktails.

Soap operas, Dr. Phil, The View, Oprah??? Who the hell has time for all that?

It has been a long summer with two teenage boys to care for, look after, keep in line and entertain. I've officially started the annual back to school celebration/countdown... 16 days from today the boys will go back to school. *Fist pump in air -- silent cheer of excitement!* Woo-Hoo!

BUT... I will miss them. We've had a great summer. I've absolutely enjoyed every minute of watching my 'little boys' mature into fine young men.

Most days have been full... running teenagers here, there and everywhere, monitoring the number of teenage mutants flopping around in our pool, cooking for every teenage boy living within a six block radius, etc. Late night basketball games in the backyard, allowing them to take over our camper and helping them make it their club-house. Ordering 4 pizzas to be delivered to the camper door. The look on their faces when I'd come home from the store with a giant box of Sam's Club cupcakes, watching them play paintball, ride dirt bikes, skateboards, rollerblades, fun stuff!

There was one small glitch in an otherwise perfect summer. The younger of my teenage sons had to go to summer school. The child failed to do anything at all to avoid failing one class... one little class. His reward was 5 weeks of full day summer school. Too bad, so sad.

This was my first *ever* experience with summer school and I was not pleased. As a matter of fact, I was damn tempted to punish the little mutant for allowing this to happen. Common sense and a little touch of pity prevailed and I concluded going to summer school was punishment enough. In other words, I cut the kid a break. Little did I know this child would *enjoy* going to class. I've said it before and will say it again, this is one complex kid. I will never understand the inner workings of his mind.

Ungrateful Little Twirp:

You would think my child would get down on his hands and knees and bow to me for waking up very early every day for five weeks to drive is ass to summer school. This was a matter of take the classes or repeating 7th grade. I know *I* would be eternally grateful if someone saved my ass from having to endure an additional year of school. Most days were fine, but some were an exercise in keeping my composure so I did not fly off the handle like a screeching banshee from hell.

Here is an example of what some mornings were like. Facts are facts, and the fact is youngest son and I are not morning people. If every morning was like the one below, I would be typing this from a prison cell.

6:00 a.m. - alarm goes off. Smack snooze alarm, back to sleep for 9 more minutes

6:09 a.m. - alarm goes off, drag half dead body from bed. Stumble up two flights of stairs, bounce off a few walls along the way. Trip over some teenager's size 12 shoe. Wander to kitchen, stub toe on some teenager's skate board. Scratch head, wonder just why in the hell there is a skateboard in the middle of my kitchen floor... decide I do NOT wish to know the answer.

And by the way, just what the hell *IS* that goop in the bowl on the counter? Later that day I would find out it was homemade cookie dough. Extra points awarded to the teenagers for cleaning up after themselves and not leaving crumbs all over the dining room. Told there were no crumbs, they got lazy and impatient so they decided to eat the cookie dough... raw. Eewwwww. Whatever. Wow, how in the hell did 6 kids manage to drink a case of soda in one night? I only see 5 or 6 empty cans in the trash. WHERE are the rest of the cans? Never mind... I really don't want answers to any questions.

6:10 a.m. - Peek in oldest son's room to see how many teenagers crashed at my house. Take a quick head count. Make sure all sleeping teenage mutants are 1.) male, and 2.) still breathing.

6: 12 a.m. - start a pot of coffee

6:14 a.m. - Flick 13 year old sons lights on and sweetly ask him to wake up. Let's try to get this day started off on the right foot

6: 20 a.m. - Shake 13 year odd son and demand he get out of bed

6: 29 a.m. - Threaten to pour pitcher of ice water over son if he does not get out of bed ... RIGHT NOW.

6: 32 a.m. - Son finally in shower

6:38 a.m. - Ahhh... that first sip of fabulous coffee. What a gorgeous morning! It is going to be a wonderful day

6: 49 a.m. - Son bitching and whining because his favorite t-shirt has not been laundered. Boo-frickity-hoo... the kid has more clothes than *I* do. And just why in the hell didn't HE do a load of laundry if HIS favorite shirt was dirty? I may be the stay at home mom around here, but I am not the stay at home SLAVE. The day the children were old enough to reach the buttons on the washer and dryer was also the day they were guided and instructed on the finer points of how to properly wash, dry, fold & put away their clothing.

6:50 a.m. - He's STILL whining. Why can't he shut his mouth, suck it up and deal?! Calmly tell mutant child to shut his big flapping lips and get the hell over it, I've only had one sip of coffee and he is treading on deadly ground

7:02 a.m. - Child still bitching and moaning, first cup of coffee down, pour second cup and remind demon child it is not MY fault he failed to do his school work and therefore has been sentenced to, in his words, "punishment worse than death", or... 5 weeks of alllll day summer school class. *Silent mommy shout of jubilee! "That'll teach him to do classwork!" For once someone other than me disciplined the child. Ha Ha!!*

7:13 a.m. - Child still shirtless. No less than twenty five (25!) fresh, clean t-shirts hanging in his closet, none of them worthy.

7:14 a.m. - Where the hell did I hide that reserve of Xanax? Realize it's going to be a sucky day if I already feel the need to self medicate before the clock strikes 8:00

7:32 a.m. - Child is dressed and fed. Teeth are brushed. We are on schedule... *It's a MIRACLE*

7:41 a.m. - In the truck, half way to summer school... mutant child realizes he forgot to grab homework. Tempted to lean over and slap child across head. suppress urge to physically harm child and/or spin 360 in the middle of highway. Back to the house, turn truck off, hand child the keys

7:59 a.m. - What the hell is taking so long? Child finally back in car... suddenly realizes he locked keys in the house. Suppress urge to scream "Mother F*****!" at the top of my lungs. Grab cell phone, attempt to call oldest teenager's cell.... Ring, ring, ring... voice mailbox. Ring, ring, ring... voice mailbox. Can not control temper and holler "Son of a B****!" Child looks at me and says, "Nice language". Shoot child THE LOOK and explain that if he says one more word he will go to school minus his lips, because I'm about ready to rip them clear off his face. Call house phone... no answer.

8:02 a.m. - Youngest son SHOULD be in CLASS by now. Tell youngest son to go bang on the front door. Hear dogs barking and barking... and barking. HOW the hell can oldest teenager and friends sleep through this shit?

8:03 a.m. - Oldest teenager stumbles to door. Youngest child pushes past oldest child. Oldest child is not amused.

8:05 a.m. - Youngest teenager comes running out of house... followed closely by oldest teenager - who, by the way, has hands balled up in fists. There goes my day... all shot to hell

8:22 a.m. - Youngest child dropped off at summer school.

Repeat for 5 weeks.

Is it any wonder I can feel the grey hairs squeaking through my scalp?


Here it comes... the dreaded MOMMY CURSE:

I hope my teenage sons have 10 children each.. all boys... just like them! I don't care if I have to be on full blown life support, hooked up to a dozen machines. As god as my witness, I WILL LIVE long enough to watch my boy children parent their own teenagers. And I will laugh, uncontrollably.

There is a wise old saying... something about "Grandchildren are your reward for not killing your teenagers". Ain't that the truth.

SO...

Long before my children were born my decision to be a full time stay at home mom was etched in stone. From an early age I knew I was cut out to be a mom and wife. When I met my husband I was blissfully thrilled to discover that he wanted a family, and wanted a wife who would be willing and able to stay at home to raise the children.

The day I realized I was pregnant with my first child will always be the most memorable day of my life. The moment we read the pregnancy test results is burned into my memory. Some may not understand this, but I feel as though that was the precise moment my life began. Prior to getting pregnant I was more or less a young woman whose primary mission in life was to have as much fun as humanly possible. I was a wild child, a risk taker. Spent all of my late teens and early 20's traveling around the country on a whim, partying hard, and generally goofing off. My dream to start a family had finally came true.

Disclaimer!

Let me preface this entry with one very important disclaimer:

Being a SAHM is a very private and personal choice. I will never, ever claim SAHMs are better parents than working moms. On the contrary, I admire the hell out of successful working moms and often marvel at how they manage to juggle both jobs.

I do not have personal experience with what it takes to work a full time job AND raise great children. However, I watch my girlfriends do both jobs and have utmost respect for them.

Over the years I've been there to catch my working girlfriends when they fall. When our children were young, I babysat their children free of charge (of course). There were times when one of the children would be sick and I would take care of the child knowing full well my own children may get sick. Most daycare facilities will not allow ill children to be in attendance. So before I say another word, KUDOS to all the working moms of the world.


Some important points about being a SAHM. Things to consider before jumping feet first into this JOB:

1. Despite what some may believe, if done properly, being a full time stay at home mom is WORK. It is a JOB. The hours are long, but the payoff is priceless.

2. Many people view the decision to be a stay at home mom as an unpopular and undesireable lifestyle choice. That's fine! Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Choosing to be a SAHM is not for everyone, just like choosing to drain septic tanks for a living is not for everyone. Different strokes for different folks.

3. The choice to give up a professional career is costly. Among other things, stay at home moms forfeit income, pension and medical benefits.

4. A choice must be made. Are stay at home moms willing to forfeit those things in exchange for the joys of being a full time parent?

5. Stay at home moms have to figure out if they are cut out for this job. Being a full time stay at home parent is by no means a glamorous career. It is important to consider whether or not this job will make a mom happy. As the old saying goes, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" AMEN!

6. So you want to be a stay at home mom. Many questions must be answered, this is not a situation to take lightly. First of all, can your family survive on one income? Do you have backup childcare in place for those times when you need a break? Are you cut out to withstand the monotony, the daily grind?

7. Going from a two income family to a one income family... are you willing to 'trim the fat'? In my experience, two income families tend to spend more, while one income families tend to be more careful with money.

8. At the end of your day can you look at yourself in the mirror and proclaim you are a successful woman? Some people equate success with their job. Remember, being a full time parent is a JOB. Will it be enough for you?

9. Attention all naysayers! Stay at home moms have not left the workforce! What we do is a job, and if done properly a very difficult one. SAHMs are not giving up their careers, they are simply changing gears.

10. Choosing life as a stay at home mom is a labor of love. This job means assuming the role of cook, cleaning lady, driver, disciplinarian, counselor, nurse, teacher, tutor, accountant, referee, and much more, all without monetary compensation. No sick days, no personal days, no paid vacation... and one issue I struggled with when the children were young, some days with NO adult interaction.

One thing is for sure, this is certainly not a 9 -to- 5 job.

Being on duty 24 hours a day can wear a mom down. There were times when lack of adult stimulation was difficult. I had to make the conscious effort to involve myself in activities outside the family. I interviewed babysitter after babysitter, checked references, and was tempted to pay for applicants to get a background check. After all, this person would be left to care for my precious babies.

Looking back I can laugh at myself, but at the time I was dead serious.

I've done a little bit of research to determine how much this job is worth. These statistics are based on minimum annual salary for professionals in my area of the country:

Daycare Assistant - $22,000

Entry Level Elementary School Teacher - $32,000

Short Order Cook - $30,000

Accounting Clerk - $32,000

Licensed Practical Nurse - $40,000

Facilities Manager - $80,000

This is a small example of what stay at home moms do. You get the picture.

The kicker is stay at home parents are not included in United States Department of Labor statistics. We are non-wage laborers. Never mind that stay at home parents invest countless years working very hard to teach our children to be responsible, well mannered, productive members of society. In a perfect world stay at home parents would at least be rewarded with some sort of tax break, but that's another rant for another time.

If you choose to leave corporate America in exchange for being a full time stay at home mom, discuss this decision with your significant other. Take a long, hard look at the situation. Pay attention to what you are willing to sacrifice. Unless your husband earns a six figure income, make sure you will be able to make small sacrifices, as there is absolutely no doubt at all your financial situation will change.

At the end of the day the most important thing is being happy and comfortable. Do what feels right for YOU. Always remember... absolutely NO regrets.

Meet The Mad Magpies - Pecker & Pooper

Meet Pecker, the infamous Mad Magpie, and his brother, Pooper. Pecker and Pooper have taken up residence in one of the large pine trees in my backyard.

Pecker and Pooper rule the yard... as well as ruling Weasel *see previous entry*.

Of course we do not tell the dog this, as it would definitely deflate his doggy ego, and everyone who knows Weasel knows how the little man prides himself on being one hell of a vicious Wiener. After all, the little fella has a reputation to maintain.

I've tried many times to get a close-up photo of the Malicious Mad Magpies, but they're on to my super sleuthing technique of hiding in the bushes.

Every time I get close enough to get a clear shot, the Mags sound the alarm.

As far as I can tell, "Squawk, Screech, Squawk, Squawk, Squawk" is Mad Magpie code for "Here comes that cuckoo camera chick! There she goes again, click, click, click!" ... or something like that.

As I've said, my teenage sons named Pecker. I take full credit for naming his brother, Pooper. Pooper likes to spend time dancing around the black surface of our trampoline, and delights in doing his bidness' - dead center, of course.

It is quite apparent Weasel is more than a little perturbed by Pooper's pooping prowess.

It's like a dog-vs-bird turf war going on in my very own back yard. The current turf war reminds me of the Jets -vs- Sharks of West Side Story fame.

(Cue Finger Snapping)

Pecker & Pooper:


"When you're a Mag, You're a Mag all the way
From your first juicy worm
To your last dyin' day
When you're a Mag, If the spit hits the fan,
You got brothers around, You're a family man!
We're drawin' the line, So keep your Weasel nose hidden!
We're hangin'' a sign,
Says "Weasel Forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin''.....


Weasel:

The Wease is gonna have his night tonight!
If the Mags start a rumble I'll rumble 'em right!
I'm gonna hand 'em a surprise tonight!
Gonna cut 'em down to size tonight!
No tricks! But just in case they jump me I'm ready to mix!
Pecker & Pooper, well they began it all
The Wease will stop 'em once and for all!
The more the Mags bring it, the harder they'll fall.
I am the the One & Only Weasel after all!

And so the saga continues. I will not begin to worry until or unless tiny switchblades begin cropping up hidden in the grass.

The Life and Times of Weasel The Wonder Wiener

Meet Weasel The Wonder Wiener

This little man is the light of my life. Weasel is half Dachshund, half Jack Russell Terrier.

He was born October 18, 2002 - and came into my life several days before Christmas.

His mom is a pure white Jack Russell, dad is a silky Dachshund, or as my teenagers like to say, a 'hairy wiener'. As you can see, he acquired his stunning great looks from his dad.

What you cannot see is the attitude acquired from his mom. Weasel is an interesting mix, he has the long body, snout and ears of a dachshund, combined with strong terrier like legs.

Unlike dachshunds, Weasel can jump quite high and run very fast. This 16 pound wonder wiener is oblivious to how incredibly tiny he is and never misses an opportunity to let Jack, our 100 pound black lab, know who is boss around this house.

It is a good thing Jack tolerates Weasel, especially considering Weasel's tiny head fits snugly stuffed in Jack's mouth. The two dogs are best buddies and lifelong pals.

Over the years many dogs have come and gone, all of them unique in their own way, but Weasel is my special boy.

Without a doubt he is mamma's baby and knows how to work it like a pro. It does not take much effort to 'weasel' his way to an extra snack, belly rub, or game of fetch.

He came to me weighing in at a whopping two pounds 9 ounces of pure sweetness. His long torso, long tail, and slender snout lead to naming him Weasel. As time went on and his personality developed it was abundantly clear how appropriate his name is.

The family jokes about Weasel being a blanket 'ho', meaning he never misses an opportunity to 'weasel' his way under the covers. Most of the time any blanket will do, but he is particularly territorial about HIS blanket, the one we wrapped him in when he was a tiny pup.


Several weeks ago Weasel made a new friend, a baby magpie whom my teenage sons have named "Pecker". *Groan*

Pecker is quite the bold little bird. Most of the time he will perch himself on the rim of our backyard basketball hoop and squawk incessantly until Weasel comes out to "play".

If Pecker has to wait very long he will land on our deck, hop around, and peck on the sliding glass patio door. This will go on until someone lets Weasel out.


Everyone gets a good belly laugh watching Pecker tease and taunt the dog. The bird will perch itself in one spot and commence to screeching and squawking.

And they're off...

Weasel barks, Pecker squawks. The dog yelps, the bird will screech. Of course there is no chance in the world the dog will ever catch the bird. Magpies are cunning, fast flying birds. If I thought for one moment the bird was in danger I would put an immediate stop to their game.

Pecker plays Weasel like a cheap fiddle and is fond of flying to and landing on the rail along the deck. The dog races through the yard to reach the top stair only to see the bird fly back to his perch on the basketball hoop. This game will go on and on until one of us tires of hearing these two crazy animals battle it out.

One of these days Pecker will fly south for the winter... I wonder if he will return to play again next summer.

Coming soon... Pecker Pictures!

A Few of My Favorite Things

My dear friend and web hostess of http://www.selfindulgentlady.com/ has a fantastic suggestion on her site.

Sit down and spend a few minutes writing a list of things you like to do. Keep the list handy and take some time out of your day to do something you enjoy. Here is my list favorite things to do. Some are indulgences, others are the things that comfort me the most.

That wonderful first cup of coffee every morning

Sitting at the patio table, feet up, listening to the birds and slowly sipping that cup of coffee. Heaven!

Tending our gardens. This year I am enjoying the patio herb garden. The frozen tundra is an unforgiving place and growing anything from seed is very rewarding.

Cuddling up with my family and watching a movie. It does not have to be a new movie. Even though the children are teens, this is a family tradition. Family time is one of my greatest comforts.

Late night long soaks in a steamy bubble bath. Slathering great smelling lotion head to toe.

Girls night out, even if all we do is gather at one of our homes for snacks and drinks.

Fresh, ripe fruit and vegetables. There are times of the year when finding great produce is difficult. Summer brings a bounty of wonderful fresh produce.

Fly fishing. The charge I get while preparing to go. Feeling my body relax the moment I leave the city. Finding the perfect, private, peaceful place to toss the line out. Going all day without seeing another soul. The peaceful feeling of hearing nothing but the sounds of nature.

Spending time here: http://www.threemoose.com/ Each cabin is built in a very private setting. One of my favorite of their cabins is featured above - the cabin has a 'million dollar' view.

Climbing into bed with a great book and slipping between 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. On cold nights, snuggling under the down comforter.

Homemade lemon pound cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

Very chilled Strawberry Zinfandel

Dining out

Hockey Games! Alaska Aces, 2006 ECHL Kelly Cup Champions! http://www.alaskaaces.com/

Early morning and late night talk radio. Especially enjoy listening to local radio hosts.

Spending an evening gazing through my telescope.

Geek TV. Love to watch programs on the Science Channel, Learning Channel, History Channel, etc.

Spending time with my five year old nephew. He makes me giggle and laugh. Love spending time with little people. Blowing bubbles, skipping rocks, drawing with sidewalk chalk, coloring... all the great things little children get such a charge out of. He's my little sweetheart.

The Alaska State Fair. http://www.alaskastatefair.org/ Making and entering baked goods and crafts. Our family has an extensive collection of ribbons for things we've made and entered over the years. Going to the fair is another family tradition.

Family camping trips to various destinations around the state. Several years ago we gave up trying to camp in a pop-up trailer and bought an adorable 24' travel trailer. It is a little 'home on wheels'. This summer the teenagers have been using it as their 'club house'. They've lugged a large TV, game systems, DVD/VCR combo, and other misc. things out there. I've made sure to load their fridge with with kid snacks and drinks. This 'home away from home' gives them and all their buddies the feeling of camping, even though they are only a few setps from our front door. I check in from time to time and every once in a while have a few pizzas delivered to their door. :)

Losing myself in a great book.

Spending an entire day on a wildlife viewing cruise: http://www.kenaifjords.com/733.cfm

Baking and cooking for the family. Trying a new recipe. Making the old tried and true foods my family loves.

The holidays. I love everything about Thanksgiving, Christmas and ringing in the New Year.

Always having one or more of my favorite candles burning on the fireplace mantle: http://www.foreverybody.com/en/index.php

Spending the day blueberry picking in our favorite secret spot. Picking raspberries from the enormous raspberry patch in our backyard. Making jams and jellies from the berries.

The smell of fresh salmon smoking. Every autumn my husband prepares his 'secret brine' and smokes pound after pound of our catch of red and silver salmon.

Crisp autumn mornings and seeing the first dusting of snow on the mountain peaks. (aka: Termination Dust)

A great loaf of still warm crusty, crunchy bakery french bread. Sharing a loaf with the kids on the way home from the store.

Listening to corny old 70's and 80's Disco music. It makes me get up and dance.

Thumbing through family photo albums and watching old family movies.

Dabbling with photography

Spending the day at the zoo, especially during feeding time when the animals are awake and active.

Watching a bald eagle snatch a fish from a river or stream.

Watching a gorgeous sunset - or sunrise. They are incredible sights here.

The unbelievable rich blue color of the sky on a clear winter day

A huge white moon shining over the mountains - for some reason it makes the mountains appear to be a soft shade of lavender.

Aurora Borealis - The Northern Lights




This list could go on forever... more soon.

Coffee, Whipped Cream, The Finer Things In Life

Ah, that first cup of coffee in the morning, there is nothing better in the world. It is manna from heaven and I don't know what I would do without it. The day does not start off right without a large, steaming cup of freshly brewed java.

Some days I add a small amount of Ghiradelli hot cocoa mix and a squirt or five of whipped cream. Today is one of those days. Although it is an absolutely gorgeous morning the current temperature is only 47*.

While the lower 48 states roast and toast in a record breaking heat snap, we continue experiencing a less than warm summer. That is by no means a complaint. I would much rather be cool and comfortable than sweltering in 100* temperatures.

So here I sit reading my daily e-mails, relaxing, and enjoying a delightful cup of coffee. My husband and I are self proclaimed coffee snobs. Pre-ground Folgers just won't do, we find it tastes like ground cardboard.

Our coffee beans must come whole, preferably a good French Roast or Columbian bean. Each and every morning one of us will grind the whole coffee beans to a fine powder and make our pot of 'mud', thus the need for a little something extra like the hot cocoa mix and whipped cream, a little something to take the edge off.

It occurred to me that there is not enough whipped cream in the world. Again, I am particular about my whipped cream. It has to be homemade or Land-O-Lakes Whipped Light Cream, nothing else will do. When I get a wild hair and feel the need to make homemade whipped cream it is always icy cold cream mixed with just enough Splenda to make it slightly sweet.

Last night was one of those 'wild hair' nights. I was thrilled to find Costco had absolutely ripe, deep red California strawberries, beautiful peaches, and large containers of deep purple blueberries. What a treat, especially considering they were not priced high enough to require parting with an arm, leg, or pint of blood.

Due to higher fuel prices, groceries are at an all time high. It is not unusual to find myself passing by some of my favorite things - I absolutely refuse to pay $4.00 per pound for tomatoes. Rather, I'll take a short ride to our local greenhouse and buy their beautiful hothouse tomatoes - 5 pounds for $5. Their tomatoes are far better than anything grown 'outside' and on a good day they will have boxes full of beautiful green tomatoes.

A serious sweets attack hit last night, and I knew the fruit bowl and fridge were full of wonderful treats. Of course I had a pint of fresh whipping cream stashed away in the back of the fridge, a girl never knows when the craving for whipped cream will hit. The temptation was strong! I knew eating the fruit by itself would be the healthy choice, but like I said, there is just not enough whipped cream in the world.

Pulled the Kitchenaide mixer out of the pantry and made a beautiful lightly whipped bowl of cream with Splenda. Peeled and sliced the ripe peaches, washed and hulled the strawberries which got sliced very thin, and picked through the blueberries to find the most plump and juicy of the flat.

The result was a beautiful parfait of fresh fruit and lightly whipped cream. It doesn't get much better than that and does not take much more to put a smile on my face.

Today will be yet another very busy day so I knew starting off with a great cup of coffee was exactly what was needed. Mmm, just took another sip. If the rest of today is as good as this cup of coffee I will be one happy woman.

Oops, could not resist the urge to check the Land-O-Lakes site to see what type of delicious recipes they had listed this month. Here is the recipe for the photo above:


Crust Ingredients:


1/2 cup LAND O LAKES® Butter, softened

1/3 cup sugar

1 1/4 cups flour

2 tablespoons milk

1 teaspoon vanilla


Filling Ingredients:

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice

1 TBSP. freshly grated lime peel

3 eggs

3 egg yolks

1/2 cup LAND O LAKES® Butter, cut into 8 pieces

Topping Ingredients:

LAND O LAKES® Aerosol Whipped Light Cream, if desired

Freshly grated lime peel, if desired. Heat oven to 400°F. Combine 1/2 cup butter and 1/3 cup sugar in large bowl. Beat at medium speed, scraping bowl often, until creamy. Reduce speed to low; add flour, milk and vanilla.

Beat until well mixed. Press dough onto bottom and up sides of ungreased 10-inch tart pan with removable bottom. Prick dough all over. Bake for 14 to 20 minutes or until light golden brown. Cool completely.

Meanwhile, combine 1 cup sugar, lime juice and 1 tablespoon lime peel in 2-quart saucepan. Cook over medium heat until sugar is dissolved (1 to 2 minutes). Reduce heat to low. Beat eggs and egg yolks in small bowl with wire whisk.

Stir small amount of hot sugar mixture into egg mixture using wire whisk. Gradually stir egg mixture into remaining hot sugar mixture. Cook, stirring constantly, until mixture reaches 160°F and is thickened (6 to 8 minutes). Remove from heat.

Stir in 1/2 cup butter, 1 piece at a time, until mixture is smooth. Let cool at room temperature 15 minutes.Pour cooled filling into cooled, baked crust. Refrigerate at least 2 hours. Garnish with whipped cream and lime peel, if desired..

Enjoy!

Enormous American Flag

Dimond Center Mall, the largest mall in Alaska, has this beautiful and enormous American flag flying every day of the year. This picture makes it difficult to appreciate how absolutely huge it is. It was a little breezy yesterday, just enough to get the flag flying. I couldn't help but stop to take a photo of the mountains, clouds and this flag.

A few facts about my home city, Anchorage, AK:

With 260,000 residents according to the 2000 census, Anchorage is the largest city in the state of Alaska, comprising more than two-fifths of the state's population. A State of Alaska Demographer in 2004 estimates the population at 280,000. Anchorage was founded in 1915 and named after a place where a ship lies at anchor. Its unofficial nickname is "The City of Lights and Flowers", referring to its thousands of buildings outlined and adorned by tiny white lights throughout winter and its spectacular displays of flowers in the summer. Garden writers call Anchorage the "Hanging Basket Capital of the World" when it comes to the city's thousands of hanging baskets, and aviation buffs refer to the city by its former official slogan, the "Air Crossroads of the World", because of its geographical location between the two northern continents and its strategic location in the realm of worldwide shipping and transportation.
In downtown Anchorage along the streets and sidewalks are 425 baskets of bright gold triploid marigold drenched with trailing sapphire lobelia. The blue and gold flowers represent the colors of the Municipality of Anchorage flag and the Alaska state flag. The city of Anchorage blooms with vibrant color during the late spring and summer.
Today Anchorage has many features of a modern urban area, such as parks and forests, bike and city trails, skiing and cross-country ski trails, business and commerce, theaters, college and minor league sports, and many other forms of entertainment.

Here is a link with more interesting information about our city:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchorage,_AK

Fun on the 4th of July

Loaded the SUV with teenagers, snacks, drinks and blankets and headed out an hour early to ensure we'd get our favorite spot. About 20 minutes after we settled in, the line of traffic was backing up for miles. The area was very crowded and I noticed there were a lot of extra police officers walking and riding around the grounds.

It was a beautiful night, 60* and a gentle breeze. The fireworks show was scheduled to begin at midnight, but since there was not a cloud in the sky, it was too light to start on schedule. I guess they began around 12:20 AM.

The fireworks were nice, but I think the city skimped a little bit this year. The kids had a great time and got to see friends they have not seen since their last day of school. They visited, snacked, chatted and goofed. A great time was had by all.

Self Indulgent Ladies!

http://www.selfindulgentlady.com/

Love to loll? Need a good laugh? This is the place for you.

Here you will find pampering tips, recipes, endless reasons why every woman should be a Self Indulgent Lady, and abundant hints and tips about how to properly pamper yourself.

This site is jam packed with LOL stories and ideas!

WOW! Fish!

My husband and three buddies decided to go on a little fishing trip to fish Resurrection Bay out of Seward, AK.

Here is a picture of their catch. Among the fish are lingcod, halibut, silver salmon, and red snapper.

I've never been able to figure out why fishermen need to get up at 3:00 in the morning to go fishing. It's not like the fish are going anywhere. But get up at 3:00 in the morning they did. The man on the left is an old family friend, Mike. Before last week we hadn't seen one another for almost 18 years.

Since the men were getting up at 3:00 in the morning, Mike decided to spend the night at our home.

The evening before this trip I fell asleep on the sofa. Bad move, very bad move. My husband and Mike (being the adult men they are... ahem) decided this was their perfect opportunity to 'mess with' me. What's a good fishing trip without a little hazing to get the blood flowing?

Their first attempt to get me going was to flick on every light switch in the living room, dining room, kitchen, and foyer. They had this house lit up with a million watts of electricity - it was like a mini Vegas in here. I could hear Dumb and Dumber snickering and giggling like a couple of 12 year old boys.

I knew exactly what the little fatheads were up to. Rolled over and pulled the comforter over my head. When plan A failed, it was on to plan B. Dumb and Dumber decided to move the coffee bean grinder to the kitchen counter closest to the living room. "Grind, grind, grind"... all the while I was thinking about how much I'd like to grind some of their 'stuff'.

Stuffed a pillow over my head. There was no way I was going to play along with their little game.

Not sure if Dumb or Dumber came up with the next antic, but know it was Dumb (my husband) who was caught red handed holding one of my favorite copper botttom sauce pans and wooden spoon -- bang, bang, banging it like a conga drum.

I guess the spoon and pot situation was more than my wiener dog could take, because next thing I knew, that wiener took one very large flying leap off the sofa and went directly for my husband's ankles. Ha ha ha ha! I mean it, that little 16 pound dog was flying, his long wiener ears straight off the side of his head like little wings. He was one pissed off pup. I'm still laughing about it. YAY for the wiener!

Here's the thing Dumb (that would be my husband) forgot. I know where he lives. I know where he sleeps... and I possess a hockey whistle, a cowbell, and a mini air horn.

Expect it when you least expect it, Mr. Dumb. Too bad Dumber is only here for a few more days. I'm sure we'll see one another again before he leaves, and I'm already plotting and planning sweet revenge.

The rest of their fishing party arrived at 3:45 in the morning - and off they went. The weather forecast for Seward was not looking good, and I remember thinking, "I hope Dumb and Dumber get seasick and come home skunked!" (That means fish less).

Well, as it turns out, the weather was absolutely gorgeous - and calm seas. The men came home with a boatload of fish. I'm glad Dumber had the 'fishing trip of his lifetime' - what a way to experience fishing Alaskan waters.

There were a few bonus moments, he got to view several dozen sea otters, many sea lions sunning themselves on rocky outcrops, quite a few bald eagles, and three whales.

Beautiful Petunia Hanging Basket

Beautiful Purple Petunia Hanging Basket

From Bell's Nursery, Anchorage, Alaska.


http://www.bellsnurseryak.com/

Bell's is so much more than a nuresery. Thier Specking Road location offers everything from locally made specialty gifts, to See's Candy, to a wide variety of collectibles, hard to find beauty products, stunning one of a kind stemware and gourmet cookware and cutlery, including selections from:

Waterford, Mikasa, Noritake, Lipper, Staffordshire, Wedgewood, Johnson Brothers, Spode, Royal Worcester, Royal Doulton, Royal Copenhagen, 10 Strawberry Street, Haviland, Philippe DeShoulierres, Lomonosov Porcelain, Lenox, Lynn Chase, Waterford China, Villeroy and Boch, Dansk, Fitz and Floyd.
Pottery: Denby, Boleslawiec Polish Pottery, Portmeirion Pottery, Monroe Saltworks.

Crystal: Swarovski, Lenox, Gorham, Waterford, Mikasa, Noritake, Crystal Clear.
Flatware: Dansk, Oneida, Yamazaki, Reed and Barton, Towle, Wallace, International Silver, J.A. Henckels, Godinger.

Spending time in their gift store is like therapy for the soul. Bell's makes a point to support local artists. Here are a few samples of the items they have for sale:


http://www.bellsnurseryak.com/special_events.htm

http://www.bellsnurseryak.com/gift_shop.htm

http://www.bellsnurseryak.com/sale.htm

Hanging Baskets

Beautiful Fuchsia hanging basket.

Another wonderful hanging basket from Bell's Nursery. This one is my favorite. The good news is this basket will return to the greenhouse to 'winter over'. Next summer it will be just as beautiful.

The Poppy Man

My brother is owner and operator of Mike's Quality Trees and Mike's Mobile Greenhouse located in Palmer, Alaska.

Early this summer Mike met and did business with a most interesting man.

Stanley Ashmore of Palmer, Alaska owns several acres on 'Lazy Mountain'. Mr. Ashmore grows and sells these beautiful blue poppies. This variety is known as Meconopsis and is one of the most sought after perennial poppies in the state. Every summer Mr. Ashmore grows and pots up some 100,000 of these beautiful flowers. He and Mrs. Ashmore then take their flowers on the road, selling to greenhouses and landscapers. They also rent booth space at various fairs, weekend markets, or simply park their truck on the side of the road where they sell each and every pot for $5.00. They claim to sell every last poppy, which amounts to approximately $500,000 per summer. Incredible.

My brother decided to purchase 200 potted poppies to sell to his clients and customers. He was nice enough to gift me with quite a few pots. Here is a photo of the first blue poppy to bloom in my garden! It is definitely the pride and joy of my garden this summer. I'm hoping these poppies winter over well enough to return next year. From what I understand, if I keep my poppy plants 'happy' they will return year after year and propagate by re-seeding themselves. Perhaps one day I will be fortunate enough to have one entire flower bed dedicated to nothing but these beautiful blue poppies.

It's Summer In Alaska

The men have been out fishing the rivers and streams. My husband and son had great luck on their fishing trip to the Russian River.

During this trip they had an interesting experience. Of course they had to be on the first morning ferry to cross the Russian River. This means they got up at 4:30 in the morning to be at the ferry crossing by 5:30. The first ferry took them across at precisely 6:00 am sharp.

Due to heavy bear activity in the area, the Russina River Ferry station has taken to using a loud horn as a warning system. When there is a bear sighting, Fish & Game alerts the ferry operators to sound the alarm.

Of course they took proper precautions and made sure to bring the .44 across the river with them, one can never be too safe when there are hungry bears in the area. When my husband heard the bear alarm go off he placed his hand on the holster and started scanning the area. Looked to the left, no bear. Looked to the right, no bear. Started getting a little nervous, looked all around, still no bear.

Next thing they knew, here comes the bear, a big old grizzly... just bobbing along down the river. That big old bear was taking a 'joy ride' right down the center of the river, just bobbing along. The only thing visible were his big fat head and shoulders. That bear went on his merry way bouncing down the river, minding his own business.

The fisherman on the river could not believe what they were seeing. This may very well be the one and only time they will see such a sight.

Ahhh, summer in Alaska... you never know what will happen next.